One of the things that have fascinated our family most by being in Italy is the enormous cohesion found here.
In Italy the unity of the family is very strong. Families are often living several generations under the same roof, and no-one expects the state to take over responsibility if a family member or neighbor becomes ill. One naturally helps and supports the family’s elderly without any sign of hesitation.
In the small villages, everyone knows each other. And they know all that is happening in each other’s lives – good and bad. Secrets are not easy to preserve in such a society – and as soon as one has heard the news about one thing or the other, it does not take long before the entire village knows.
We experienced this at first hand when we told one of the villagers that we were moving into the center of Montone after the summer holidays. From he heard and until everybody knew, not even a day had passed! But as one of elderly men in the town square so well explained; Montone is a small town – and here we know everything before it has happened.
The good thing about such a close network is that old and ill who do not have children to help themselves are cared for by the neighbors who bring food, do their groceries and in all take care of them. And if one of the city’s inhabitants has not shown him or herself for two days, more of the other residents will seek them to find out if something is wrong. Thus, one of our new friends, Dutch Cornelle, experienced to get knocked out of bed after having stayed in door for a few days. People just wanted to make sure she was ok, so with a runny nose and cheeks red of fever, Cornelle had to open the door to well-meaning, worried Montonese who just wanted to check her up.
This very sympathetic approach to one’s neighbor – this sincere concern and caring about others is archetypal Italian.
The same is the level of participation when one of the countless sagre – festivals of all kinds – are held. Here, if not all inhabitants then at least the majority get involved and help. Being involved in both the preparation and the actual performance is, for some, even so important that they are actually spending a part of their vacation traveling back to their childhood Village to participate. Leaving the big city they have moved to for educational or work-related reasons.
In Montone, this year’s Santa Spina had more than 200 montonese, who participated in the grand march, in addition to all of those who helped to cook, prepare theater pieces, to solve logistic tasks and much more. The support was simply huge.
As northern European from a medium-sized provincial town, where gathering neighbors for even a tiny neighborhood party can be impossible, it is impressive and does make you feel a bit envious.
